Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Would Patriots' Bill Belichik Make a Good Poker Cheat Too!
SPYGATE STUD! Imagine that game! You have 10 players sitting around an oval green poker table with white hash marks and little yellow goalposts in front of each player for protecting their hole cards. Now imagine that one player has a tiny camera embedded into one of the goalpost's uprights that films the other player's facial expressions, hand movements and even hole cards if the cameras can get the right angles on players who are sloppy in picking up their cards and peeking at them.
Sound far-fetched? Well, of course it's far-fetched. But imagine playing poker with New England Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick! Would you play against him? Heck! Even if I had the skills of Daniel Negreanu, Phil Hellmuth and Barry Greenstein combined, I would not go up against Bill Belichick on the poker gridiron! Heck! Even if I had the rumored-to-be-less-than-honest skills of Men The Master Nguyen and Doyle Brunson, I wouldn't go up against Belichick at the poker table. Heck, even if I had the cheating skills of Richard Marcus, I wouldn't try using them against Bill Belichick!!!
I mean, come on, don't you think this guy Belichick would find a way to beat you? Even if you had your own cheat partner, say the Desert Fox Field Marshal Erwin Rommel standing behind Belichick and spying his hole cards with his vintage World War Two field glasses and sending you flares across the poker room to signal their values, would you feel secure in your edge? If anyone could study the game, then combine his analytical skills with a little spygate maneuvering of his own to outwit you and Rommel, don't you think it would be Bill Belichick?
You see what I'm saying? Oh! And one final thing: I wouldn't play online poker against Bill Belichick either! I wouldn't care what handle, nickname, avatar or emblem he used! Not even if I had the skills of Josh Field, Alan John Grimard--or even their alter egos JJProdigy and AJ Green.
You know what? I don't think I'd play poker against Bill Belichick online or off even if he voluntarily showed me his hole cards every hand!